Sunday, July 31, 2005


Ever had one of those instances in which you're chatting with a group for several days and occasionally topic ideas that nobody thoroughly understands crop up? and you say "oh remind me, i should look *topic* up once i get back in front of a computer." And naturally you get back in front of said computer and lose all possible recollection of what it was you were going to look up. "If you wish to forget something immediately, made a note that this thing is to be remembered."-poe

Thursday, July 21, 2005

meeting new people

Opal212: i'm getting too old to meet new people
superbabeteam: umm... you are 21? 22?
Opal212: 20
superbabeteam: wow you sure are old.
Opal212: tell me about it--grey hair, wrinkles, and incurable halitosis are right around the corner
superbabeteam: go go gadget negativity
Opal212: the next time i want to meet new people is when i'm moving into my cute little suburban residence and my new neighbors are bringing over jell-o molds and offering to have a barbeque to help all the new families get settled, and i'll be the one single woman without kids standing there looking vampish and drinking gin
superbabeteam: well you have fun with that
Opal212: aw c'mon i just came up with a great visual
superbabeteam: yes, but it was depressing
Opal212: garden party with one new dad and his starter-home barbeque waving the bugs and the toddlers away from the meat and flames, moms standing around who've all gotten their hair done in the past seven hours wearing their floral capri pants putting paper plates full of potato salad on the corners of the tablecloth so it doesn't blow away, chatting about their kids and joining the PTA in two short years--and leaning against the one tree in the entire yard is me, with heavy eyeliner for three pm, with a bottle of gordon's in one hand and a cigarette in the other, disgusting and simultaneously enticing all of the young dads in the area with my low-cut blouse and tight last-season trousers...

Sunday, July 17, 2005

1 Month

yep. i've been home for a month. i've also been bored senseless for a month. i think there's a correlation.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Magic America

i don't care what the song says--there are no magic people here. america is just as boring as anywhere else in the world, we're just more obstinately proud of our boredom and wish to inflict it on ourselves more thoroughly. you can't get away with jack shit here. you can't legally do anything of note until you're pretty much out of university--which is when you have to grow up and stop having fun. i don't mean to say that consumption of alcohol is the only thing worth doing, but people aren't going to hang out with you if you're not "legal."

what the hell is Legal? i can go to adult jail for participating in or attempting to participate in activities that are legal for adults. i know i've said this before but this point really drives itself home when i spent a year in a place where the word Adult meant just that--fully legal adult with the rights, priveleges, and responsibilities of any other adult. And now i'm back home. sitting home on a friday night tip-tapping away on my blog with a mug of tea and a painful spot on my nose. Because at least in my area of the world there's nothing for me to do on a friday night that doesn't involve sitting around someone's house smoking weed and/or drinking illegally, paying too much to go into a dance club to be sober and not really comfortable enough to dance, sitting around in a park drinking and/or smoking weed and hoping you don't get caught, or hanging around in a pool hall that lets in anyone and watching fifteen year old girls pushing their pubescent breasts into the faces of frighteningly predatory twenty-one year old college dropouts in the hopes of being bought a beer.

I mean, lets look at this. Friday evenings offer few options to the impoverished under-21 university student. If you want any form of entertainment that involves leaving the house, you must pay for it. Movies, plays, ballets, and operas will range in price from $6 to $200 a seat. I can't afford to watch more than two movies a semester if i still want to eat six out of seven days a week. Dance clubs generally charge $7-10 for any person aged 18-20 so they can still get some money off you even though you're barred from the bar. I've found that in Columbia, at least, the only ones that'll let under-21s in are gay clubs. And as fun as it is to be a ignored all night when you're looking cute... Restaurants are another one of those things that are hard to afford and no nice meal is complete without a bottle of wine. Bars, naturally, are out.

What does that leave for the po' student to do with him or herself? Walk around town? Not if you don't want to be arrested on charges of "suspicious activity" or mugged, raped, or kidnapped. Drive around and look at other people having fun? As cool as you'll feel then, you can also be proud of the week's worth of gas you've just burned. Parks are closed, historic places are closed, most shops are out of the picture too. Feel like going to church? Chances are you'll find doors locked and security systems activated. Hell, i bet you can't even get into your workplace to put in a few more hours.

There is no reason why anyone not aged 7 or 70 would feel any inclination or need to go to bed before ten pm on a Friday night. And the stigma of being home alone on a Friday night is enough to drive even the most sheepish of frat boys into the streets. So. you have a choice. flash your fake ID and see how many bouncers you can fool into letting you in, or you can hang around with your other youthful friends and feel like a loser. And, chances are, be bored. And what will any cop tell you about bored kids? They're gonna smash things. They are going to steal cars, draw on other people's houses, take your purse, and go smashy smashy all through the town. They're also more inclined to partake in the recreational use of illegal or heavily guarded drugs, fornicate wildly, and not ask "what would Jesus do?" before acting.

Dance clubs and bars keep people from going out and being stupid in the late evening hours. That's why they're legal. It gives people somewhere to go where they're not in the streets or in their homes to be loud and have fun and wear themselves out before going to bed. And most bars have responsible bartenders with an emergency telephone nearby for when things get out of hand. And as long as people are hitting on each other in clubs they're not stealing hubcaps off the cars outside. They're like daycare centers--except for adults, at night. Up until a person is 18 or in college it is their mum's responsibility to keep them off the street and out of trouble, but once they're out of the house its fair game. If the government is going to actively prevent ageing teens from playing in adult night-care, they better be prepared to put up with them in jail.

You know, i've also been told by a cop that since the drinking age was brought back up to 21 the number of traffic fatalities has distinctly dropped. This sounds viable until you remember that before the mid 1980's cars didn't have air bags and seat belts were not legally required. also since the age has been elevated above those of most other nations there have been major innovations in tyre safety, anti-lock brakes, cabin design, and the ability of a car to not explode on impact. If anything, American drivers of all ages have become much more careless on the road and the number of DUI offenders hasn't altered. No matter how old, a drunk driver is still a drunk driver.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

I wonder how many were tourists.

Why the hell would anyone want to bomb London? The Brits aren't the Infidels--sure they're a bunch of godless drunkards but thats why we like 'em. Americans have the Wrong God, which is what makes us the bad guy--the English are kind-of a middle ground. But I have a theory as to why London got hit this time instead of us.

If America gets bombed one more time by any (non-Christian) religious nutcases, chances are Bush's itchy trigger finger will find that red button and blow the entire Islamic world off the map.

I'm not saying its right, but any terrorist should use caution in dealing with the US any further. I'm quite sure most Americans are unconcerned with innocent, sane Islamic people--they don't give a rat's ass about the law-abiding, god-fearing men, women, and children. If levelling Iraq and Afghanistan will succeed in quieting a couple of religious zealots, W would probably support it. America's "war on terror" is an acceptable title for Christianity's "war on Islam." We should really face it--whatever your reason for joining the army, you're fighting in the name of Religion. Fanatical Christians are not really evil but they are idiots like the fanatical Muslims that they so frequently condemn, with the same respect for religious diversity and human life as bin Laden. I don't think we should condone one group and condemn the other--they both piss me off and inconvenience my daily life.

Actually, when it comes to the daily life, Christians irk me more--showing up at the door and asking if i've brought jay-sus into my life, lobbying the senate and supreme court to vote against the rights of anyone who isn't a heterosexual white male. Yep--you let Political Christians (not people of faith in government, for generally a truly religious person believes in equality and attempts to be just and fair in everything they do. No, I mean people who enter into or attempt to sway government to impose their ideals and personal restrictions on everyone else) have their way and you're looking at essentially what Afghanistan has now, including stoning and burkas. I like having the right to wear a short skirt, i appreciate the option of preventing unwanted births, and i don't want to see any laws passed to justify hating or harming my gay friends. Overzealous religious people fail to recognize a very important verse in that book they love to refer to--"Thou Shall Not Judge."

If we can get these lunatics to leave us alone--I don't think a vaccine is possible but some brainwashing may do the trick--i think we'll see much lower instances of hate crime and public destruction. Perhaps this is the "apocalypse" that the bible refers to so often--the day when all the normal people just get fed up with the religious folk and either kill them or drastically alter their perception. they say that the truly faithful will be taken immediately to Heaven and all the unsaved will be left here. Good Riddance.

Friday, July 01, 2005

at its finest...

"only the mediocre are always at their best."--Neal Boortz

Damn straight I am!