Things Teddy Has Tried to Eat

in no particular order: Styrofoam, a nickel, a blanket, feathers, tassels, a plate, his tail, a leather chair, soap, dried paint, a chunk of tile, kitty litter, dirt, dried leaves, his foot, a teabag, a newspaper, a coozie, my cell phone, my computer mouse, a carrot, an artificial ice cube (he doesn't like real ice cubes) a candle, a rock, trousers, my forearm, my mom's laptop, a chunk of drywall, a safety pin, a thumbtack, a screwdriver, 15 christmas ornaments, his foot and his tail at once, sandpaper, a spanner, a price tag, a receipt, 2 almonds, a toothbrush, a vitamin, and a Christmas Cactus.

He should jingle by now.