Open A Window

I am the anti-smell. Scented candles make me nauseated. Bathroom fresheners cause my temples to throb. Odor-eliminating sprays are my #1 migraine trigger. It Baffles me that people spray nasty chemicals into the air in their stuffy houses to "freshen" them, and then they proceed to stay in the room and Breathe that shit. Ever read the side of a bottle of Febreze? "odor eliminator" is considered an ingredient. I consider that a massive unpronounceable compound that someone figured they'd simplify. Some sort of noxious, plastic, cinnamon-inspired completely-artificial vein-inflaming horror has been reduced to "odor eliminator" on a brightly decorated spray container. Frequently these have warning labels that say "may be harmful to children or pets." but not harmful to you, you grown-up purchaser of pressurized stench. It may kill Fido but you'll come out with little more than a nagging head cold and a depleted immune system. Because This stuff is good for the air and your brain cells. That's why Corporate America encourages you to spray it directly into your nose--so you'll unlearn the dangers of huffing vaporized industrial particles and BUY MORE.

...someone put one of those stink-cones in my house. Two hours after I removed it my head still hurts and I'm dizzy.