All Right USC, knock it off. You can't seriously believe that after costing me $30,000 that i don't have I'm gonna be willing or able to turn around and immediately start donating to your alumni association. I don't even make enough money to bother to file my tax return, let alone seek out deductions. No, USC, you did not get me the career of my dreams--in all honesty you didn't get me anything. I owe you nothing, I don't want to get hot tickets to home games, and i Certainly don't want to give you any reason to harass me even more. You must be incredibly arrogant or incredibly stupid to think that your students--the majority of whom attended because it was in-state, not because its where we wanted to go--would feel the urge to give you even More money, especially now that we've been out a while and seen exactly how useless that piece of paper we earned is. I could be here, now, doing exactly what i'm doing, with a GED. Instead i've got a BA followed by some latin gibberish and a debt that'll see me through the next decade. I know I should have taken it as granted that my school would start bugging me from the moment i walked off campus, but i had no idea you'd do it with such vehemence. The calls, the postcards, the fat envelopes full of worthless incentives and photos of smiling happy paid models...soon you'll start ringing the doorbell wearing skinny black ties and carrying a battered copy of the Carolinean Creed to ask me if i've embraced the joy of school Spirit...and just like all good proselytizers you'll never take "no, and please leave me alone." for an answer.
In other news, my cat has been gradually scooting closer and closer to me, so that a moment ago I went searching for my mouse and found it--not surprisingly--between her furry paws. She seems intent on getting as close as possible to me before passing gas, which is distinct in that it smells slightly worse than her food. Thanks, Boots.
In other other news, i went this morning to the clinic to start the HPV vaccine series and found, much to my chagrin, that i went to the wrong office and missed my appointment. I tried to reschedule and found that I must wait yet another month to get that ball rolling. As the two private doctors' appointments i've tried to have since arriving here the first of September will have taken 3 months to materialize and cost well over $300, I must pause to wonder what the same would have taken in a country with socialized healthcare.
2 comments:
Thanks for reminding me that I need to get the 3rd part of my HPV vaccination. I think. Damn. I should call Kaiser.
Also, would you mind re-posting the comment you made about the Street View video on the YouTube page? Show your love on YouTube! :-)
I remember my first call from the Alma Mater asking for an Alumni "gift." I think my response went something as follows:
"Ohhh...so let me get this straight: now that I don't have to pay money on a regular basis you're now kissing my ass and acting like we're best friends. Where was this attitude when you were jerking me around at every opportunity for those 4 years as an undergrad? The school treated me like absolute dirt and following that ordeal you then expect me to pay again as if you hadn't already milked me for everything I was worth?
See the irony here? You're now asking me for the favor.
My how the tables have turned!"
I then gave an evil laugh that lasted entirely too long. I don't remember much of what happened after that, but I believe I ended the conversation with something like "Tough Titty Said the Kitty" and hung up.
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