As of two days ago I'm officially in limbo. My student visa has expired, but UKBA still has my passport and my post-study work visa application is "processing" (e.g. collecting dust in a locked filing cabinet shoved in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "beware of the leopard.") I submitted my form just under 10 weeks ago, but they say they are currently reviewing applications submitted 3 weeks ago. Without my passport and a valid visa of some persuasion I have no evidence of my right to work in this country. I also have no idea if I have, or will have the right to work in this country. They have changed the application criteria but will not attempt to impose them retroactively, so at least I have that.
Since November I've painted two rooms of my house (both including baseboards and trim, one including ceiling), volunteered on 4 shows, graduated, fixed a silly little computer, installed new taps in the bathroom, applied for 10 jobs (just for fun, really) been rejected from 3 jobs (no surprise there, Ms. Dubious Work Visa), had some work done on the house, doodled a lot, fixed and made a few pieces of jewellery, and spent the rest of my time reading, staring at the wall, and kicking things. I've also tried to encourage my neighbours' cats to let me pet them when they play in my back yard (so far...no) and cleaned everything far too thoroughly. In short, if it weren't for the fact that I've been alone, I've been behaving like I'm on vacation. Except without the fun or the relief.
Two days ago a Royal Mail special delivery guy parked his van right in front of my house. He withdrew about a dozen small parcels from the back, checked his list...and then proceeded to efficiently deliver them all to twelve houses near mine before driving away. I was incensed. Wait a minute, Mr. Postman! Surely you see this is not fair! Jerkface.
Worried worried worried. I bet my passport made its way onto the black market and is currently being used by a Ukranian drug mule. My application is not remarkable, so why is it taking the same amount of time as the really complicated, distinctly dubious ones? Y'know, like the application submitted in Swahili for a completer of Oxford Street Unn-Iveristy so she may immigrate with her 9 children who are all men and older than her. Is Central really that unheard of? Laurence Olivier went there. As did Dame Judi Dench, all of the Redgraves, and Catherine Tate. It's not some mob-run diploma mill! What's wrong with my credentials? Why am I on the back burner? Did you find traces of LSD on the envelope? What else are post office employees supposed to do all day?
Erm..
sorry.
It's been too long for me to feel comfortable or safe. But I accidentally painted the cabinet that contains my suitcase shut and I'm not sure if I'll ever get it open again. Maybe it'll be fine. Maybe it really did fall down behind a cupboard, or Daisy Mae spilled her coffee on it and they've had to ask the US embassy to print me a new passport.
Yeah right. They'd totally make me pay for that.
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3 comments:
Oh dear, that sounds awfully frustrating, but awesomely productive! Super awesomely productive! In fact, I'm surprised that there aren't more photos of your efforts, you slacker! Have you visited any museums? Any cool pubs or bookstores? Now seems like a good time to aimlessly wander around the neighborhood with a camera (that's what I did when I was unemployed -- though it was summertime in Berkeley, not wintertime in England).
I visited a museum in Greenwich a couple weeks ago. I didn't actually mean to, but I had to go to the bathroom on the way from the DLR stop to the pub so I popped in...and wound up sticking around for about half an hour. It's just a little place adjacent to the Old Brewery on U of Greenwich's campus, but it's shiny and new and the layout is very thoughtfully designed. For instance, anywhere they have constantly running videos they have directional speakers with little footprints painted on the floor where you can stand if you'd like to hear it--it goes from being completely inaudible to pin-drop clear in the space of about four inches. Rock-out cool, plus it helps keep the staff sane and prevents transmission of lice from sharing headphones. Triple win.
Other than that, though, not really. I've visited my friends' favourite haunts--places where the staff are just as likely as your friends to mention they like your haircut--and Ben and I have gone tromping around in the woods and parks when it's been clear. I saw a production of Twelfth Night that was really, really good--done as a sort of turn of the century cockney music hall--that a classmate of mine did the videography for. From what it sounds like even my friends who have the right to work are struggling to find so much as a job flipping burgers, so I guess I should be grateful I have an excuse to not bother trying.
Every room paint job has had an audiobook theme, though--the dining room was Sookie Stackhouse novels, the bathroom was Sherlock Holmes, and the attic was Pride and Prejudice. Dang Jane Austen's characters have empty lives.
Wow, that thing in the museum sounds so cool! Such innovation :)
I think you should post about painting each room, and write about the books that went with them. For example, Painting the Dining Room with Sookie Stackhouse. I'd be interested to hear how the different audiobooks affected your mood while painting (if at all), or just what you thought about the books and the rooms. And pictures!!
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